在BAD真棒之旅美国巡演纽约MSG那两场，MJ邀请她作嘉宾表演，MJ的经纪人说她除了KISS什么都可以做，第一晚她吻了MJ脸颊，MJ没反对，第二晚她吻上了嘴唇。之后就被MJ的经纪人辞掉了。MJ对此没做任何评论。
Tatiana认为MJ是喜欢她的，我也觉得他们很相配，可能当时MJ一心都在事业上，所以没太重视爱情。
拍摄the way you make me feel
Hollywood, 1987 A Turning Point; The Michael Jackson Girl
In 1987 I signed with a new agency, Joseph, Heldfond and Rix, at the time a fairly powerful group. Julie, my agent, sent me on an audition for a Michael Jackson video, The Way You Make Me Feel. I wasn't told, though, whose video this was for. But I discovered later that two hundred other hopeful young actresses tested for that part.
87年去参加the way you make me feel的试镜,但并不知道是谁的mv 一起参加试镜的还有两百多个年轻女演员
When they called me, I was told to walk and show some attitude. The scene took place on a street in a rough area. A bunch of guys start hassling the character I was reading for, taunting her with lines like. Hey baby, what's up?
Coincidentally, the very same thing had happened to me as I was on my way to the audition. Some guys had hassled me on the street, so you might say I was prepared. I ran through the scene a few times, and my audition was put on videotape.
第一次试镜是在街上走走摆摆姿势,试镜情况被录了下来
A few days later I was summoned to a small dress rehearsal. It was the first time I learned that the video was with Michael Jackson. I was brought into a room by the video's choreographer, Vince Patterson. Michael was there but I was too shy to even look at him at first. Patterson directed me to go through some moves, which I followed perfectly. Finally I glanced up at Michael. He was sitting there in a red shirt, bopping to the music with this big, happy grin on his face. I saw him turn to the person next to him and say something. I later found out from David Banks, one of the video's writers, that Michael had said, She's the one. The rest are extras.
几天后我被叫去参加小型彩排,那时我才知道是michael的mv,我被带到了一间房间,michael也在，不过一开始我压根没好意思朝他看。舞蹈指导演示了一些舞步，我都完成的很好。最后我才瞥向michael，他穿了件红衬衫坐在那里，跟着音乐打着节奏，脸上带着快乐的神情咧着嘴笑着。只见他转向身旁的人说了些什么，后来从其他人口中才得知他说的是“就是她了”
I will never forget when my agent called to tell me that I had the job. I screamed so loud that all of Hollywood must have heard me. It was such a milestone accomplishment for me. I felt like I had finally made it, and my career would soon be taking off.
永远忘不了经纪人告诉我得到那份工作的情景，恐怕整个好莱坞都能听到我的叫声了。这对我来说是一个里程碑性的成就，我觉得我终于做到了，而且我的事业也将很快会腾飞。
The shoot lasted five days, with the fifth day devoted to outtakes and close-ups of me. By the second day the ice was broken between Michael and me. It happened in the middle of a scene where was chasing me, and I was supposed to run through a broken-down, beat-up car in the middle of a street. My dress was so tight that in order to cross to the other side of the car to get out, I had to turn around. During one take, in the process of turning, my high-heeled boot got caught in the upholstery, and I couldn't get it out. Michael put his hand on my calf and then on my upper thigh to help pull me out. I got a little overheated, I guess, and lost it. I fell out of the car, landing on my butt. We both cracked up as he wiped my butt off. Then we looked into each other's eyes for a moment. After that a warm and friendly connection started to develop between the two of us...
拍摄进行了五天，第二天michael和我打破了沉默。那是在他追我的那个场景中间，我要跑着穿过街上的一辆汽车。衣服太紧了，要穿过汽车从另一边出来，我不得不将身体转过来。一次在转身过程中，我的高跟靴卡在了车里。michael将他的手放在我的小腿 然后是大腿上，好把我拽出来。我顿时有些全身发热，而且我想有些不知所措了。我从汽车中摔了出来，跌坐在地上。当他帮我拍掉屁股上的土时，我们两个都笑了起来，然后互相注视了一段时间。在那之后，我们之间开始了友好而热烈的关系……
As we waited around on the set in the days after that scene, Michael began asking me questions about my life. A few times he was a little flirtatious, like when he told me I had an incredible walk. I said, Well, it's just a walk. He looked at me and smiled. No, you have a very sexy walk.
那以后拍摄间歇,michael开始问我一些生活上的问题，有几次几乎是挑逗性的，比如他说我走路的姿势很不可思议，我答道不过是走路罢了，他看着我笑着说“不，你走路的姿势很性感”
Not long after the video production was over, Michael's stand-in, Craig, who had become a friend of mine, called and said, You know, Michael talks about you all the time. He asks me how you are and told me to tell you hello. I think he really likes you. He says stuff like how incredibly beautiful you are and how sweet you are.
拍摄结束后不久，Craig给我打电话说“知道么，michael总是提起你，他问我你是什么样的人并让我向你问好。我想他真是喜欢上你了。他说你是如何如何漂亮又如何如何可爱。”
Craig suggested that I come by and visit the set of another video Michael was shooting. I thought it was a great idea, so Craig asked Michael, and a few days later I was invited to drop by the set. It was fun being there and seeing Michael again. He showed me around the set, and then I watched the filming and had something to eat with him and his manager in his trailer. At the end of the day I realized I didn't have a ride home. Still a recent transplant from New York, I didn't drive yet. The cab to the studio had cost more than I had expected, and I didn't have enough cash for a cab home. Craig pushed me to ask Michael for a ride.
Craig建议我去michael拍另一个mv的现场去探班，我觉得这主意不错，于是他跟michael说起，几天后我就被邀请到了拍摄现场。能再见到michael真是太好了，他领我参观了拍摄场景，然后我看着他工作，与他和他的经理人一起吃了东西。最后我意识到自己没车回家了。那时我刚从纽约搬来，还没开车，来时坐计程车花的钱比我预计要多，我的现金已经不够再坐车回去了，Craig要我找michael搭车。
Too shy to go to Michael directly, I explained my situation to Miko Brando, Marlon Brando's son and Michael's right-hand man, and asked if he could lend me a few bucks or give me a ride. Miko offered to check it out with Michael but thought it would be no problem to give me a ride in the limo. A few minutes later I was on my way home, sitting next to Michael in his black stretch Mercedes, which Miko was driving. At first Michael seemed nervous and jittery like a kid. We talked a lot, mostly about our families. At one point we were sort of holding hands. When he dropped me off, I thanked him and said I hoped to see him again.
He said, Oh, you will.
不好意思直接找michael, 我跟miko（马龙白兰度的儿子，也是michael的得力助手）说了我的情况，问他是否可以借我点儿钱或者载我回家。miko说问问michael，几分钟后我就搭上michael的车走在回家的路上了。miko开着michael的黑色奔驰，而我就坐在michael旁边。起初michael看起来像个小孩似的神经紧张战战兢兢。我们聊了很多，大部分是关于各自的家庭，有一度我们的手几乎握在了一起。下车时我向他道谢，说希望能再见到他。他说“哦，当然会的。”
Shortly after that I was hired to go on Michael's Bad tour to perform the sketch from the video live in Kansas City and New York. If it worked out, there were to be more appearances in other cities on the tour. Naturally I was thrilled to be working with M.J. again.
不久我就加入michael在堪萨斯和纽约的bad巡演，如果一切顺利的话，还会参加更多城市的巡演，自然对能和mj一起工作我是激动不已。
We did the Kansas City shows and then arrived in New York where we had three dates at Madison Square Garden. I had an idea for the end of the performance that I thought would improve the piece. After Michael's hot, intense pursuit of the girl I played, all he did at the end was give me a hug. It was kind of a letdown for the audience. People would come up to me and say, If Michael is so much in love with this girl, why does he just give her a hug at the end? (that's what 1 of my friends said! )
结束堪萨斯的演出后来到纽约，我们在麦迪逊花园广场约会了三次。我对演出结尾部分有些改进意见，原本在最后michael只是拥抱我一下，这对观众来说会有些失望。人们会跟我说“如果michael那么爱那个女孩儿，为什么他在结尾只是拥抱她呢？” （那是我一个朋友说的）
I wanted to discuss this problem with Michael and ask him if it would be all right to give him a kiss instead of just the hug at the end. But during the busy tour I was not able to see him or speak to him except when we were actually onstage performing. So on the second night of the performance, at the end of the hug, I reached up and gave him a little kiss on the cheek. The crowd went ballistic, Michael seemed surprised, but he smiled. Afterward nothing was said by any of his handlers except the usual Great show.
我想跟michael谈谈这个问题问问他最后是不是可以吻他一下而不是仅仅拥抱。但繁忙的巡演中我压根见不到michael或和他说话，除非是真正在台上表演。于是在演出的第二晚，在拥抱后我在他脸颊上亲了一下，观众疯狂了起来，michael有些惊讶，但他还是笑了。过后他的经理人什么都没说，除了照例的“演出很棒”
The next day was the last day I was scheduled to perform, and I called Michael's secretary to ask her if I could talk to him. She gave me his number but told me not to keep him on the phone for too long because he was very tired. I reached him and thanked him for giving me the opportunity to work with him. I also said that I hoped my little kiss did not throw him off.
Michael assured me that the kiss was okay. Can I take it a step further tonight? I asked him. Yeah, that would be great. He said. I thanked him again and hung up.
第二天是我预计表演中的最后一天，我打电话给michael的秘书问她是不是能和michael谈话。她告诉我他的号码，但跟我说他很累了，别和他打太久。我拨通电话感谢他给我机会与他一起工作，说希望我的吻没让他觉得发窘。michael一再跟我说那个吻没什么。“那我今晚能再进一步吗？”我问他，他说“好啊，那肯定好极了。”再次感谢后我挂了电话。
I was very nervous that final night as I got onstage. I kept questioning whether or not I should really kiss him. I knew the crowd would love it. But I was also under the impression, both from my time with Michael and from what others in the production company had told me, that Michael had a crush on me. I had sensed it from our eye contact, from gestures, from hugs, from sweet little things he said or did.
那最后一晚上台时我紧张极了，一再问自己是不是真的要吻他。我知道观众的反应会很热烈，但我同时也觉得michael可能爱上我了，不管从我们在一起的时候还是从制作公司其他人的口中都给我这个感觉。我从我们的对视的眼神，姿势、拥抱和他说的做的一切甜蜜的小事中感觉到了我们之间的情愫。
We got to the end of the act, and I was standing in front of him. My hands were on his collar and I was looking right into his eyes. He had this very sexy look on his face. He bit his lip. I pulled myself forward, toward him, and he put both of his hands on my hips. We embraced, and then kissed each other full on the lips. The crowd freaked out. I pranced off the stage, and Michael went on singing and laughing, entertaining with more life in his voice than I had ever heard before.
到了表演的最后，我站在他跟前，手放在michael领子上，深深的直视着他的眼睛。他咬着嘴唇，脸上是极度性感的表情（可以想象啊 口水止不住了……）我向前靠近他 他把两手放在我的臀部，我们拥抱，而后亲吻，深深的吻在唇上。观众疯狂了，我大步走下舞台，michael继续唱歌，大声笑着继续演出，声音中是以往我从未听到过的激情。
When I got backstage, all of the dancers congratulated me on how great the show was and how happy Michael seemed to be. I loved the wonderful response to the show. But for me it was more than just a performance. I really liked him, and I knew that he liked me, too. I felt there was something there between us.
回到后台后，所有的舞蹈演员都祝贺我说演出有多成功michael看上去有多高兴。但对我来说这不仅仅是场表演。我是真的喜欢他，并且我知道他也喜欢我，我能感觉到我们之间的化学反应
When we got back to the hotel, John Draper, the tour manager,(wasn't he tour manager 4 Madonna's Blond Ambition Tour as well? They work with all the same people!) came up to me, and I went with him to take care of my hotel bill. While we were standing at the registration desk, Miko Brando came out of nowhere and stared screaming at me at the top of his lungs. How ****ing dare you do that to Michael? he yelled. You bitch, you ****ing bitch, what were you doing? How can you take advantage of him like that in front of all those people? He went on and on, obviously having no idea that Michael and I had talked beforehand. It seemed so off the wall.
回到宾馆后，巡演的经理人John Draper（也是麦当娜巡演的经理人）来找我，我和他一起去处理我宾馆的帐务。就在我们站在宾馆前台时，miko不知从哪儿蹦出来开始用尽全力冲我大声呵斥“你怎么敢那么对michael?，你这个不知羞耻的，你这个婊子，你干什么了？你怎么能在那么多人面前那样占他便宜？”他不停地骂着，显然不知道michael和我事先曾谈过。这看起来太疯狂了。
Then Michael's manager, Frank Dileo, walked past. After every prior show, Frank would tap me on the shoulder and tell me how great I was. That night he didn't say a word but instead gave me the most evil look I have ever seen.
Frank Dileo，michael的经理人走了过去，在以前的每次演出后，他都会在肩膀上拍拍我告诉我我的演出很棒，那天晚上他一句话也没说，而是狠狠的瞪了我，那是我见过最恶毒的眼神。
To this day I have no idea what I did that was so terrible, but that was the end of the tour for me. I was not asked back when the Bad tour went on to several cities. Sheryl Crow took my place.
直到今天我还是不知道自己做错了什么，但就从那时起巡演对我来说结束了，bad巡演继续到其他城市时我没被邀请，Sheryl Crow取代了我的位置。
I went home and cried incredibly hard, over both the lost opportunity and over losing Michael. His mother, Katherine, was also puzzled by what happened. She later invited me several times to the Jackson compound in Encino and we talked at length. She told me that when we were shooting the video, Michael had asked her what he should do with me. He had told her how much he liked me and that he had feeling for me. She had told him to express himself, to tell me about his feelings.
我回到家哭得天昏地暗，为我所失去的机会，也为失去了michael。他的母亲katherine也惊讶于所发生的一切。之后她几次邀请我来到杰克逊Encino的家中作客，深入的进行了谈话。她对我说当我们拍摄录影带时，michael问过她该怎么对我。他告诉母亲他有多喜欢我，说对我有感觉。她让他对我表白，告诉我他的感觉。
He never did tell me anything of the kind, although several others in his camp - bodyguards, secretaries, and writers - had let me know. The only explanation I could fathom was that Michael's top managers must have seen me as a threat. The Bad tour was one of the most successful promotions of his career, and the people working for him did not want anything to mess it up, especially a relationship with some girl they hardly knew.
他却从没跟我说过类似的话，虽然为他工作的其他人--保镖秘书作者都曾告诉过我。我能想到的唯一解释就是michael的经济人们一定是将我视为一个威胁。bad巡演是他事业上最为成功的一次，为他工作的人不希望有任何事将它搞砸，特别是和他们几乎不认识的某个女孩儿的罗曼史。
Perhaps they thought of me as someone who, like a crazed fan, imagined herself being lovers with the superstar. Michael had done a music video of Dirty Diana with a similar storyline. To me, however, the feelings between us had always seemed very mutual. I felt a bond with him. Maybe it was because he, too, seemed to want to think of the world as color blind.
也许他们认为我就像某个疯狂歌迷，幻想自己与超级巨星陷入爱河，就像michael的mv“dirty diana中描述的那样。然而对我来说，我们之间的感情似乎总是相互的。我能感觉到与他之间的致命吸引，也许这是因为他似乎也希望陷入盲目的恋爱世界。
Perhaps, however, I was naive or mistaken or read too much into some of the things that happened between Michael and me. Even if that is so, I always behaved in a completely professional manner. Unfortunately, being fired from that tour had terrible repercussions for me both psychologically and professionally. I hope I will be able to put the experience behind me someday and go on, but for years it has haunted me. Certainly it illustrates how show business, money, and greed can keep apart two people who care for each other.
但也或者是我自己天真，将我们之间发生的事情赋予了太多或误以为是那样。即便如此，我也总是表现出了绝对的专业态度。不幸的是，从巡演中被除名对我产生了很糟糕的影响，不论是心理上还是事业上。我希望自己某一天能够将这段经历抛诸脑后继续生活，然而几年来它仍在我心头萦绕不去。对于演艺界、金钱、贪欲如何能将两个相爱的人分开，这的确是个好的例子。
