高分求帮改自我介绍，注意要使高级词汇（难度高），顺便提醒有哪方面没注意到觉得悬赏少可以加，24号要用

Question

First of all,my name is Deng Shilong.I am graduate from No.107 Middle School.All of you can call my nickname,Dragon or Der long that my middle school classmates called me ago. And I'm extremely excited to meet new classmates and teachers that will spend 3 years with me.
What's more,please let me introduce some of my personal life with you.I have lots of interests.I am fond of doing some reading,playing magic cube and playing badminton.I especially like to stay home by myself and enjoy the day without anybody coming to bother me.
Otherwise，I am enthusiastic about making friends because I made a competition with my partner when I was in middle school.In this way,our grades make gradual progress.I hope to enter a university such as Harbin Institute of Technology.
At last, this is my presentation, thank you all for listening.

Answer 1

Hollow everybidies：
my name is Deng Shilong.I am graduated from No.107 Middle School.All of you can call my nickname,Dragon or Der long which is that my middle school classmates called me ago. And I'm extremely excited to meet new classmates and teachers who will spend 3 years together with me.
What's more,please let me introduce you some of my personal life. I have lots of interests. I am fond of doing some reading, playing magic cube and playing badminton. I especially like to stay at home alone and enjoy the day without anybody coming to bother me.
Otherwise，I am enthusiastic about making friends because I made a competition with my partner when I was in middle school. In this way, our grades make gradual progress. I hope to enter an university such as Harbin Institute of Technology.
At last, this is my presentation, thank you all for listening.追问

几乎没有修改的地方，请问能不能使用高级的单词，句式，感谢第一个回答

追答

怎么没有修改，你看来是刚进高中，要那么多高级词汇反而不真实，你的原文还蛮不错的

追问

谢谢了，主要我高中3500词都背过了，做阅读时能认识，但就是写作时想不起来，所以才让注意要使高级词汇

追答

你的语法错误不多 我主要着重在这方面，口语主要人家听懂，太冷癖的词汇人家反应不过来反而不好