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I was having dinner at a restaurant when Tony Steele came in. Tony worked in a lawyer's office years ago, but he is now working at a bank. He gets a good salary, but he always borrows money from his friends and never pays it back. Tony saw me and came and sat at the same table. He has never borrowed money from me. While he was eating, I asked him to lend me twenty pounds. To my surprise, he gave me the money immediately. 'I have never borrowed any money from you,' Tony said, 'so now you can pay for my dinner!'
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Goodbye and good luck
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Our neighbour, Captain Charles Alison, will sail from Portsmouth tomorrow. We'll meet him at the harbour early in the morning. He will be in his small boat, Topsail. Topsail is a famous little boat. It has sailed across the Atlantic many times. Captain Alison will set out at eight o'clock, so we'll have plenty of time. We'll see his boat and then we'll say goodbye to him. He will be away for two months. We are very proud of him. He will take part in an important race across the Atlantic.
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The Greenwood Boys
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The Greenwood Boys are a group of pop singers. At present, they are visiting all parts of the country. They will be arriving here tomorrow. They will be coming by train and most of the young people in the town will be meeting them at the station. Tomorrow evening they will be singing at the Workers' Club. The Greenwood Boys will be staying for five days. During this time, they will give five performances. As usual, the police will have a difficult time. They will be trying to keep order. It is always the same on these occasions.
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Do you speak English?
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I had an amusing experience last year. After I had left a small village in the south of France, I drove on to the next town. On the way, a young man waved to me. I stopped and he asked me for a lift. As soon as he had got into the car, I said good morning to him in French and he replied in the same language. Apart from a few words, I do not know any French at all. Neither of us spoke during the journey. I had nearly reached the town, when the young man suddenly said, very slowly, "Do you speak English?' As I soon learnt, he was English himself!'
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Good news
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The secretary told me that Mr. Harmsworth would see me. I felt very nervous when I went into his office. He did not look up from his desk when I entered. After I had sat down, he said that business was very bad. He told me that the firm could not afford to pay such large salaries. Twenty people had already left. I knew that my turn had come.
'Mr.Harmsworth,' I said in a weak voice.
'Don't interrupt,' he said.
Then he smiled and told me I would receive an extra thousand pounds a year!
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A polite request
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If you park your car in the wrong place, a traffic policeman will soon find it. You will be very lucky if he lets you go without a ticket. However, this does not always happen. Traffic police are sometimes very polite. During a holiday in Sweden, I found this note on my car: 'sir, we welcome you to our city. This is a "No Parking" area. You will enjoy your stay here if you pay attention to our street signs. This note is only a reminder.' If you receive a request like this, you cannot fail to obey it!
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Always young
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My aunt Jennifer is an actress. She must be at least thirty-five years old. In spite of this, she often appears on the stage as a young girl. Jennifer will have to take part in a new play soon. This time, she will be a girl of seventeen. In the play, she must appear in a bright red dress and long black stockings. Last year in another play, she had to wear short socks and a bright, orange-coloured dress. If anyone ever asks her how old she is, she always answers, 'Darling, it must be terrible to be grown up!'
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He often does this!
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After I had had lunch at a village pub, I looked for my bag. I had left it on a chair beside the door and now it wasn't there! As I was looking for it, the landlord came in.
'Did you have a good meal?" he asked.
'Yes, thank you,' I answered, 'but I can't pay the bill. I haven't got my bag.'
The landlord smiled and immediately went out. In a few minutes he returned with my bag and gave it back to me.
'I'm very sorry,' he said. 'My dog had taken in into the garden. He often does this!'
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Sold out
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'The play may begin at any moment,' I said.
'It may have begun already,' Susan answered.
I hurried to the ticket office. 'May I have two tickets please?' I asked.
'I'm sorry, we've sold out,' the girl said.
'What a pity!' Susan exclaimed.
Just then, a man hurried to the ticket office.
'Can I return these two tickets?' he asked.
'Certainly,' the girl said.
I went back to the ticket office at once.
'Could I have those two tickets please?' I asked.
'Certainly,' the girl said, 'but they're for next Wednesday's performance. Do you still want them?'
'I might as well have them,' I said sadly.
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One man in a boat
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Fishing is my favourite sport. I often fish for hours without catching anything. But this does not worry me. Some fishermen are unlucky. Instead of catching fish, they catch old boots and rubbish. I am even less lucky. I never catch anything -- not even old boots. After having spent whole mornings on the river, I always go home with an empty bag. 'You must give up fishing!' my friends say. 'It's a waste of time.' But they don't realize one important thing. I'm not really interested in fishing. I am only interested in sitting in a boat and doing nothing at all!
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