It seems a long time I haven't written something yet , as the weather turns cloudy and a little colder , I suddenly have a strong awareness that I couldn't express in words actually , and couldn't smooth my feeling as well , so I just wanna write something casually instead of saying anything . Yesterday I almost hadn't fall asleep for all night long , maybe just because a phone call before I went to bed , or other case ……I've no idea about what made me feel so depressed , maybe I have already lost so much which I haven't to value before , and maybe all the beauty I haven't value will never be back for the punishment which I deserved ……
I spend much of my life doing the meaningless case , waste my life to gain the less reward which is not as well as what I expected , I have no directions , I have no thoughts , even I have no dream that I was dreaming all days in the past time . It seems all the passion and power have been killed by the fast elapsed time , I haven't found the shadow of myself , even lose faith for what I am doing and expecting ……
It's difficult to find someone who is really belong to me , even happiness are always slip away when I try to grab it , and by the time when I wanna give up something for sure , I doubt if it was the right way to choose , but I realize that maybe something were not yours at first , you can only enjoy and value the days before , but never be with that forever , right ?
The sun has coming out instead of hiding by the cloud , I like the sunny day , I don't understand what I have written above actually , and I don't know what I really want to tell , just as the kind of releasing garbage which I use to spend time and my life , you can consider as well . Now —— working time —— have no choice but to work immediately ……